Danse Macabre
by edapoda4
Summary: What happens when an equally powerful-and immortal- creature meets Alucard? Short summary and it sucks but the content doesn't. It's just T for the language and to be on the safe side Alucard x OC
1. Chapter 1

**Danse Macabre**

**I do not own Hellsing or any character except Bellona, but more OC is coming up. Please review. FYI: This is my first FanFic.**

Left crochet . An uppercut from the right to the chin. Ghoul tries to sink his rotten teeth into your neck. Avoid it with a smooth move, that dumb fuck thinking he could sink his teeth to me. _Hah!_ Turn around rip of his head. 1 gone 39 ghouls and 1 punk- ass vampire to go. Summon the flames. Use it like whip. Burn all the ghouls near you. 20 ghouls down 20 abominations to go. Vampire attempting to use his gun, get the nearest ghoul, break the neck, use it as a meat- shield. The FREAK vamp ran out of bullets. Take the ghoul, get it burning, then throw it to his buddies having all 10 of them burning. 10 ghouls and 1 FREAK up, easy peasy. Run up the wall, get the vamp off guard, snap it's neck ,remove the heart. And watch in awe as the remaining ghouls started to blow up one by one.

Blood and vampire guts were scattered everywhere and I mean everywhere, including my cleavage. Killing shit was fun but as every rose has its thorns, ghouls and vampires had intestines, liver and other organs that had the probability to get your favorite vintage tee, your Gucci leather biker's jacket, your favorite pair of Diesel skinny jeans and a perfect pair of biker boots covered in guts, blood and other abomination parts.

Elapsed time: 5 minutes. I've had better scores some around 2 minutes, but tonight I took my time. My life or whatever this is consisted of very few things. From the age of 24 to 100 was meaningless sex, 100 to 150 was working for the magical community, 150 to 300 was living with other nymphs, and after 300 till now was painting, reading, music and killing shit.

As I was turning around to walk home, I had nothing else to do so I would take my time and not teleport, I noticed a different scent, a new scent. As I turned around I saw an incredibly tall man. And that coming from me is a really big deal since I am 6 foot 2. He was wearing a Victorian style red duster, a red hat, some orange tinted glasses, a black suit and a pair of black riding boots. He was quite hot actually .A strong jaw and everything ,plus he had black hair, I was a sucker for black hair. He grinned, showing his incredibly sharp teeth_. _ As I was thinking he asked:

"Like what you see?". I couldn't help but answer the soft, silky voice. "Quite." , I answered arrogantly, he was trying to get inside my head at the moment and I was, well, trying to both block him from my head and myself from his. I asked his name. "Only if you give yours first.", he said grinning. I bowed mockingly. " Bellona Aurelius, in your service. " I looked up In anticipation. After a few seconds I asked again, this time he said "You have to earn it first." He grinned, I smirked and he lunged himself at me. And with him the dance of the dead started. I moved left as he lunged himself at me. As I was about to crochet him he turned around, like he was expecting it. He shoved me to the wall. He was trying to catch my scent. I noticed him grinning with the corner of my eye. _Ah, fuck you!_, I said to myself, he answered my thought with a huge grin. _God, what happened to blocking my mind!_. His eyes narrowed, as he loosened his grip, just a tiny it, I saw my chance. So I kicked him in the crotch as hard as I could.

I gave him a huge smirk as he cringed in pain. And then at that moment I let myself go, just for a second, to hear the man thanking God that none of his nuts were damaged. No vampire could heal that fast. I felt my smirk disappearing as he stood Up. I guess this would be a very very long night.

He stood up, flashed another grin at me. I couldn't help but smile. I had found a worthy opponent at last. Being what I am, a nymph, not an insufferable bitch, no that was my second most important characteristic I had, I longed for eternal battle and conflict. Now he took out a huge silver gun, started shooting me. I dodged the first, then created a shield of flames in order to melt the bullets as they came. U used the flames from the wall to create a full circle around him. It surrounded him and started to get smaller and smaller until he was burning. He took one last shot at me then grinned as he saw the bullet pierce my shoulder. And just like that he was gone. I didn't see avoiding the bullet necessary, since I knew he was done for. I took the bullet out. It was pure silver, and blessed as far as I could understand. The wound healed itself.

As I was starting to walk home I noticed the man's presence again. Really what was wrong with that fucking vampire, I kicked him in the nuts as hard as I can, which would make any other male vampires bones crack and get the –m on the floor crying like babies. Catching his figure lunging at me I avoided him punched him in the stomach. Blood was coming out of his mouth. I really couldn't help but notice the crimson eyes. They were probably the most beautiful ones I had ever seen. Then bang. He shot my liver. Blood was splattered all over me some of them his, but most of it mine. I took the bullet out as he lunged himself at me. But I was caught off – guard, I fucking hated being caught off guard. He had me pinned to the wall of the alleyway. He held my hand above my head. He was incredibly close to me, I wouldn't mind being so close to a man so gorgeous. In a normal situation. Right now we were much, much closer than I would have liked. "Oh don't be such a sourpuss." He said.

As he finished talking, I felt him sinking his fangs into my throat. He was sucking me dry. But being my horny self I wondered what it would be like. What it would be like if I'd met him somewhere different. I would probably enjoy him fucking me so hard that I had broken a few bones and got a concussion. I was one of those who thought S&M was for pussies, well it was. He probably heard all of that in my mind. I am guessing this because he stopped drinking for a second. Looked at me, flashed a huge grin like the Cheshire cat and said " I think we'll get along just fine." And sunk his teeth to my neck one last time. I could feel myself getting dizzier and dizzier. Too bad I wouldn't die. I seriously wish I could die. Well too fucking bad. Now I was going to be dumped in a trash yard. Or maybe he would hear my heart thumping faintly and kidnap me. _Oh shit._ Was the last thing I thought I had and the harvest moon was the last thing I saw that night, before blacking out.

**A.N.: Danse Macabre means dance of the dead in English, the term was used to name kind of like a genre of art in the medieval times. And since my character is a nymph and a mix of some other things so she is immortal and through 600 years of a lifish thing she was 'killed' many times. So found it appropriate.**


	2. Chapter 2

Danse Macabre

Chapter 2

I moved left as he lunged himself at me. As I was about to crochet him he turned around, like he was expecting it. He shoved me to the wall. He was trying to catch my scent. I noticed him grinning with the corner of my eye. _Ah, fuck you!_, I said to myself, he answered my thought with a huge grin. _God, what happened to blocking my mind!_. His eyes narrowed, as he loosened his grip, just a tiny it, I saw my chance. So I kicked him in the crotch as hard as I could.

I gave him a huge smirk as he cringed in pain. And then at that moment I let myself go, just for a second, to hear the man thanking God that none of his nuts were damaged. No vampire could heal that fast. I felt my smirk disappearing as he stood Up. I guess this would be a very very long night.

He stood up, flashed another grin at me. I couldn't help but smile. I had found a worthy opponent at last. Being what I am, a nymph, not an insufferable bitch, no that was my second most important characteristic I had, I longed for eternal battle and conflict. Now he took out a huge silver gun, started shooting me. I dodged the first, then created a shield of flames in order to melt the bullets as they came. U used the flames from the wall to create a full circle around him. It surrounded him and started to get smaller and smaller until he was burning. He took one last shot at me then grinned as he saw the bullet pierce my shoulder. And just like that he was gone. I didn't see avoiding the bullet necessary, since I knew he was done for. I took the bullet out. It was pure silver, and blessed as far as I could understand. The wound healed itself.

As I was starting to walk home I noticed the man's presence again. Really what was wrong with that fucking vampire, I kicked him in the nuts as hard as I can, which would make any other male vampires bones crack and get the –m on the floor crying like babies. Catching his figure lunging at me I avoided him punched him in the stomach. Blood was coming out of his mouth. I really couldn't help but notice the crimson eyes. They were probably the most beautiful ones I had ever seen. Then bang. He shot my liver. Blood was splattered all over me some of them his, but most of it mine. I took the bullet out as he lunged himself at me. But I was caught off – guard, I fucking hated being caught off guard. He had me pinned to the wall of the alleyway. He held my hand above my head. He was incredibly close to me, I wouldn't mind being so close to a man so gorgeous. In a normal situation. Right now we were much, much closer than I would have liked. "Oh don't be such a sourpuss." He said.

As he finished talking, I felt him sinking his fangs into my throat. He was sucking me dry. But being my horny self I wondered what it would be like. What it would be like if I'd met him somewhere different. I would probably enjoy him fucking me so hard that I had broken a few bones and got a concussion. I was one of those who thought S&M was for pussies, well it was. He probably heard all of that in my mind. I am guessing this because he stopped drinking for a second. Looked at me, flashed a huge grin like the Cheshire cat and said " I think we'll get along just fine." And sunk his teeth to my neck one last time. I could feel myself getting dizzier and dizzier. Too bad I wouldn't die. I seriously wish I could die. Well too fucking bad. Now I was going to be dumped in a trash yard. Or maybe he would hear my heart thumping faintly and kidnap me. _Oh shit._ Was the last thing I thought and the raven black hair was the last thing I saw that night, before blacking out.

I woke up in a spacey room, with no windows, it was, well, plain. I had no headache (a major plus for me) and nothing felt different. I tried to teleport, which didn't work, which meant I was absolutely fucked. Then I noticed all I was wearing was a shirt too big for me and my panties. Meh, I really didn't give a fuck.  
>As I said, The room was very plain. There was a bed, a closet, a rug and an end table in the whole room. Then I noticed two doors. I opened the first one that was near my bed. I found the lights after a few seconds and saw it leading to a bathroom, which consisted a tub, a toilet, a sink and a mirror. Ah, sweet mirror at last. Call me whatever you like. Call me an egotistical bitch or a self centered ass, I'm going to rip your heart out and watch your blood burst out of your chest like a geyser. Personally I think my only physical flaw is being the blond I am now. I would have loved brown hair, or black perhaps. I was a incredibly pale, I mean that in every possible (physical) way and dark hair would suit my paleness and my so terribly pale blue eyes.<br>I got out of the bathroom and opened the second door. It lead to a silent hallway. Shit. I fucking hated silence, well not if I was home, no I wouldn't mind it, but being here at an unknown place was really unnerving and not being able to teleport was a really big problem, since it was my biggest advantage.  
>As I was walking up the hallway, I saw a man, he was probably in his early 60's or late 50's. He slowly came up to me. He was wearing a monocle. He smiled.<br>"My name is Walter C. Dornes, I am the butler to the Hellsing household. Alucard told me that your name was Bellona Aurelius, is that right?"  
>"Yes that is true Mr. Dornes. I fear I would have been dead and turned into a ghoul then killed again by our mutual friend Alucard, if I wasn't the abomination I was." He smiled:<br>"Please follow me to Sir Integra's quarters. And please Miss, call me Walter" I flashed a smile.  
>"Thank you <em>Walter<em>"  
>So the man with the red fetish was called Alucard. What an odd name. It was Dracula read backwards. But wait… If Hellsing was a real family name maybe Van Helsing was real. And maybe, just maybe Dracula was too. And from the name resemblance, one could only guess, but this Alucard could be Dracula. I had to ask him.<br>My thoughts were interrupted as we arrived in front of an immense door. I now noticed that we had walked 5 stories in a few minutes. Mr. Dor- _Walter_, oh God I really had to work on that, knocked and just a second after that came a woman's voice commanding us to come in. As I entered the room I noticed Alucard standing at the side of a woman with blue eyes, glasses and platinum blond hair. It was a shade darker than mine. Mine was almost silver. She motioned me to a chair in front of her desk. I sat as she started speaking.  
>"Alucard here told me that you were quite a good opponent and you were able to disable him for a few minutes. I was also told that you were simply not human."<br>"No shit Sherlock. I am here, with my heart beating after he totally drained me and I am guessing he told you I could burn shit just by thinking, and run up walls and shit and can give you a nice, hard, superhuman kick in the nuts, which can momentarily disable our big friend behind me." She started eyefucking me after those words, and yet she kept her cool and said:  
>"Miss Aurelius you have no chance but to work for the Hellsing Organization."<br>"Excuse me, but what does this Hellsing Organization actually do? And why exactly do I have to work for you?" She answered my question with my pervious words.  
>"No shit Sherlock. This organization hunts vampires and you will work for us because you simply saw too much." I was very very frustrated. Shit! She continued. " You may leave now, your clothes have been cleaned, you and Alucard will go to remove your personal belongings from your house, at least some. Plus you get to wear your own clothes, but we will provide you with uniform if you don't wish for it."<br>"I would rather have my own clothes."  
>"I thought so." Integra said. And since you are near Alucard's level you are to work with him." .I turned my head just to see him grinning.<br>"Now leave."  
>As I stood up I saw Alucard at my heels. He smacked my ass as we got out of the office and turned left. I couldn't help but go back to my English self I was trying so hard to get rid of and pin him to the nearest wall and yell:<br>" That's sexual fucking harassment! What the fuck is wrong with you? Do try to keep your hands to yourself or at least away from me you gigantic asshole!"  
>"My my, we have an angry girl here. What's wrong, do tell." He said calmly, he was too calm.<br>"Oh, go fuck yourself!" I yelled at the undead bastard. And as I said that he turned around and pinned me to the wall, just the way he did a few hours ago. He was mad at me, I could see it in his eyes now, since he didn't have the glasses any more. He shoved his hand into my ribcage, piercing my right lung. He looked directly into my eyes:  
>"You are going to obey <em>me<em> in here, no matter how strong you are!", blood was coming out of my mouth as he continued."I, Walter and Sir Integra are your superiors in here! You are going to respect us. Now go get dressed, we're leaving in half an hour and you can keep my shirt."

He left me there healing myself. After a few seconds I was breathing again. I stood up and headed to my room. I had to apologize to Alucard. I didn't want to be cross with the man I was going to work with. I also felt pretty bad about what I did, either that or him shoving his hand through my chest made a side-effect. No matter what, I had to apologize.

I took off his shirt as soon as I got in and closed the door. My clothes were resting on a chair I hadn't noticed before and my boots next to it. I picked the clothes up, they were all there but my bra, which I remember being a piece of useless shit since I got shot a few times. Mostly near my chest and collarbone. I fine not wearing it, it didn't make a difference. I put on my clothes which had a few gun-shot holes themselves. I left my room immediately after I put on my boots. Luckily Walter was waiting outside to take me where I'd meet Alucard.  
>"I am sorry Miss Aurelius, but Alucard to disposed a part of your undergarments after he brought you here unconscious and changed your clothes.", he said walking in front of me.<br>"You don't have to call me 'Miss Aurelius' Walter, just call me Bell or Bellona." . He answered my request, probably smiling, it was easy to understand even from his voice.  
>"As you wish Bellona. Are you, by any chance named after the Ancient Roman war goddess, Bellona?"<br>"Yes actually, I am. By the way some people even call me Alecto, one of the Furies from Greek mythology."  
>"Which means unceasing." I smiled.<br>"Impressive."  
>"Thank you. I have hobbies you know. But why?" I couldn't help but smile, he was the one I liked the most so far. He turned around when we came to a door, a story above my room.<br>"It is simply because I do not have the ability to show mercy. I lost it many years ago sadly."  
>"Too bad. This is the garage, Alucard is waiting inside.", he smiled and turned back.<br>"Thank you Walter.", I said before he was even two and a half meters away. He turned around and said:  
>"You are most welcome Bellona." , smiled politely, he simply returned it.<br>"Have fun with Alucard!", he said and after a few seconds he was nowhere to be seen. I sighed. Time to go and apologize. And with that I went into the garage.

When I was inside I saw Alucard leaning against a black Porsche Cayenne. He didn't even look at me, he just turned around, motioned me to follow him inside the car. He must have been really angry with me. The garage door opened a second later after me being seated. I opened my mouth to apologize but he hushed me.  
>"Oh, please don't do that, all I want is to apologize.". He didn't say a thing, not even a gesture. All he did was to keep a stern face and look at the road.<br>"Please hear me out. I am so very sorry about whatever I did to piss you off. Please, tell me how to mend things between you and I, I really don't want to get into quarrels with you. I will do anything, I can even go shag a homeless guy with herpes in public and get arrested for public indecency if that's what it takes.", he chuckled.  
>"Hmm, you would do that for me, but would you do that with me?"<br>"You want to shag a homeless guy with herpes _together _and get arrested for public indecency _together_?" I answered with sarcasm. He laughed, that was a good sign.  
>"No, what I am saying is: Would you shag me in public and get arrested for it?"<br>"Don't ask me questions you already know the answer to."  
>"Well all I want is to hear you say it out loud.", I lost the fight.<br>"Yes, I would love to shag you in public and get arrested for it since you are the most attractive man/ humanoid I've seen in ages."  
>"And now I shall declare you horny and us back on track.", I couldn't help but laugh, he laughed with me. He looked at me for a second and turned his gaze back to the road.<br>"So did you take all my memories while you drank my blood?"  
>"No, not everything. You see there are two different departments in one's memories."<br>"Yes, I know, you aren't the only one that can absorb memories you know."  
>"So you know about the restricted section and the public section.", I replied with a nod.<br>"Well I only took memories from the public section, I was hoping _you _would tell me the rest." I forced a smile. My restricted memories had good reasons to be restricted.  
>"So what now?", I tried to ask as kindly as possible.<br>"Quid pro quo, I say."  
>"I will start. Are you Dracula?"<br>"Yes I am."  
>"Well then I feel incredible sympathy towards you."<br>"And why may I ask that is?"  
>"Just know you'll be using your turn."<br>"I'll ask you later. Now what is your worst memory?", oh holy motherfucking shit. This was what I feared.  
>"Please change the question."<br>"No can do, sorry.", I nodded in defeat, I didn't want to get in a fight with him and at last we were arriving inner London.  
>"I was born in Adrianople, before it was taken by the Ottomans. My father was killed by the Ottomans when y city was seized. It was terrifying for a girl, at the age of eleven who has already lost her mother to see such a thing. I was also taken for the Sultan's Harem, but luckily my father had thought me how to teleport, at least in theory , before he was brutally killed by the Barbarians, in front of my eyes. It took me 2 years to master it, during my captivity. After that I lived with my uncle for 10 years, until the age of 23, in England, from where he had sent me drawings of his house and etc., that was how I knew where to teleport.", I noticed my voice shaking when I was talking about my father.<br>"What is your worst memory?", I said, trying to keep myself from bursting into tears.  
>"I can't tell it right now, ask another question.". I didn't insist on my question, I didn't want to, I could sense his misery in the air.<br>"As you wish. So, this is a bit selfish on my side. Do you find me attractive?". He simply said:  
>"Yes, but I think if you dyed your hair black or brown we'd look like a real couple.", he winked, then smirked. I couldn't help but feel elated. God what was happening to me?<br>"Changing my hair color has been on my to do list for a long long time but I never had the courage to, mainly because my father said I looked just like my mother."  
>"Well, you are not your mother, so I would suggest you to do whatever you'd like with it.", I gave him a half smile and then I saw my house.<br>"Thank you for the carpool. Just park next to my car, the Mercedes."  
>"C63, from what I see.", I can't do anything but feel ecstatic around him.<br>"Very good.", I say as we get out of the car. My house was in Henrietta Street, Covent Garden. It was pretty big, it had 7 bedrooms actually, 1 I actually slept in, 2 used for storage, 1 for a library, 1 for a gym, 1 for guests and 1 as an armory. I opened the door and went inside. He didn't come with me.  
>"Go on, come in. Ghost won't bite.", I said as I was being greeted by my beloved dog ( actually he was a wolf, but felt just like a dog to me.), Ghost.<br>"Do you like wolves?",his grin was the answer.  
>"Well, can I take him with me?"<br>"I'll ask Integra. Go pack.". Yep. I am absolutely delighted. I took two of my biggest suitcases and went to my closet (thanks to the expansion charm it was bigger on the inside), started packing. I never noticed I had so many clothes. I was finished with my jeans, pants and tops and one suitcase was full when he came into my room.  
>"So what did Sir Integra say?", asked the first thing when he came in.<br>"She said you could keep him, but if he ever bites a soldier he'll have to leave and you have to take him to the kennels.", I was ecstatic. I went on and tackled him with a hug, he was utterly surprised.  
><em>"<em>Thank you, thank you, thank you!", I screamed. He had an odd look on his face, I was hoping he wouldn't be too angry with me. Then he chuckled and I knew I was off the hook. He walked to my bed and lied there until I was done with my closet. It took 3 suitcases for the closet and underwear. I really didn't mind Alucard being there even when he made kinky comments about my underwear. Now I was shoe and jacket time. My jackets took 2 suitcases and the shoes took 1. Oh shit, I forgot the bags and jewelry. I put them in another suitcase with my .357 S&W Magnum, my father's dagger and bullets, and a few of my favorite books. I took my wand with me, I didn't like using it much but I had to put an expansion charm on my room and the closet. I glanced at my piano when we were about to leave.  
>"Can I take the piano?"<br>"No, let's not push our luck. But I do have a piano. You can always play in my room."  
>"You know how to play?"<br>"And why would I have a piano if I didn't.". I guess it made sense.  
>"We can always go to the opera when we have time. Do you like it?"<br>"Yes, a lot."He grinned.  
>"Another common interest. I am starting to think you are the female version of myself. Do you want to keep your car?"<br>"I do."  
>"Good. Take the dog and your car. I'll take the bags. You will follow me."<br>"Thank you again. Tell me if you ever need anything. I shall help you in every possible way.". He gave me a big smile, like the Cheshire cat, showing me his teeth.  
>"Come on, let's go.". Then it struck me. I had forgotten my make up kit.<br>"Wait a minute I forgot a few things.", I didn't even wait for him to answer, I just sprinted inside, went up to my bathroom and took my make up bag. I was with him after a minute and a half.  
>"You are very forgetful today."<br>"Sorry. I forgot my make up bag."  
>"Well if you are done your highness, take your wolfie, we need to leave.", I didn't say a thing, just nodded.<p>

We drove for an hour or so until we came to the mansion. When we arrived it was almost dawn We split our ways then. He told me to get a good rest, that we'd be working tonight and I could unpack later. I listened to him and went to sleep. I woke up at 3 PM. I found a note from Alucard saying he gave Ghost to Walter to be taken to the kennels where the dogs were. After unpacking I took an exhilarating bath. The idea to change my hair color came to me as I was about to start blow-drying my hair. Why not create a new image? A new image would be good since this was a fresh start for me. I concentrated on the look I wanted. I wanted deep chestnut curls. And after a few minutes my straight blond hair was replaced with deep chestnut curls. After blow-drying my hair I got dressed in a black push-up bra , a leather biker's jacket (again, I had five different biker jackets from five different brands, well only four left now), a wine red tank the same tone as Alucard's cravat, a pair of black leather leggings and a pair of combat boots. Alucard came in as I was about to put on my mother's necklace.  
>"Brown hair suits you. Need help?"<br>"Thanks for the compliment and yes. I am six-hundred years old and I never got the hang of it. It' quite hilarious actually.", he chuckled and helped me put it on.  
>"Thank you."<br>"You're welcome. Now let's leave. You will have a gun soon, it is made but tonight you'll just handle them like the ones you handled before we met."  
>"Fine with me."<p>

The whole mission took 2 and a half hours in total, including the 2 hour drive. And now all I wanted to do was take Ghost on a walk. I didn't mind Alucard tagging along. He was great company. He asked me if I would like to come for a glass of wine after. I could never say no to a nice glass of wine. So I left Ghost to the dog keeper, changed into a lace trimmed white cotton dress and flats. He was waiting for me outside my room.  
>"May I state that you look very delicious tonight."<br>"Thank you good sir." I said sarcastically, exaggerating my heavy English accent. I loved talking to Alucard. We did start off bad, but we were becoming friends. He was very easy to connect with. We entered a vast room, empty except a piano, two chairs, one looking much like a throne, a black coffin with engravings on it, a bed hidden in the furthest corner and an end table with a bottle of red wine, a blood package and two wine glasses on it.  
>"Please, feel comfortable around me.", he said seeing I was nervous in here as he was pouring wine in a glass. He gave me the first glass.<br>"Thank you.", I sat cross-legged on the dining chair.  
>"You are more than welcome." He started pouring wine into the second glass. He stopped after 3 quarters of the glass was full. He opened the blood pack and filled the rest of the glass with it. He took his seat and started sipping his wine.<br>"What's your worst memory?", I asked again. His face grew darker.  
>"You wouldn't like it very much and I'd rather not speak about it."<br>"Please. I want you to trust me as much as I trust you."  
>"Answer is still no."<br>I didn't know what to do. So I just walked up to him and lowered myself, so I was face to face with him. I just put one of my hands on his face and looked him in the eye.  
>"Tell me. Please. I'll listen."<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Claim: I do not own Hellsing, Kouta Hirano does. But the Order is so totally mine, so are the OC

"No."  
>"But why?", I beg him. This is hopeless.<br>"Do not push me.", he growled. I am actually angry at him. What is so bad? Why doesn't he trust me enough?  
>"Do you trust me or not?"<br>"It has been two days since we met, how can I? And why should I?"  
>"Because I trust you enough to tell you my worst memory. My god damn father was killed by the men of the Sultan. I was raped as soon as my first period was gone, at the age of 13, constantly. Do you know how shitty that makes me feel and yet I told you. Now I want you to do the same. Talking about your feelings does help."<br>" I am a monster. I do not have feelings!", he growled. I did not flinch, or even blink.  
>"Keep telling yourself this. You loved Elisabeta and Mina and probably some others along the way. You admire Sir Integra, you are friends with Walter, those are what we call motherfucking feelings. What am I if you are the monster? You at least got a chance to be HUMAN, I never did. I am who's not supposed to be the ruthless killer. I am not telling you to become an emotional sissy, all I want you to do is to accept that you do have feelings. Because deep down you do!" I was starting to yell at him even worse. " I never knew my mother properly. She was killed when I was three. We nymphs aren't born immortal. We become immortal when we kill a human being. I hunted down my mother's killer and enjoyed my kill so much. It felt much too good. I didn't think it would. But it fucking did. I'll regret that day forever. Otherwise I'd live a normal lifespan of a witch which is again around immortal but they can be killed since they are human, I'd get married, have kids and etc.. It'd be easy. And on top of everything I am a freak in every fucking single society. No nymph can do what I can do, no wizard is immortal and no vampire's heart beats like mine. I was fucked up from the very start!". Tears were running down my cheeks. I was hardly this weak. Suddenly I felt arms wrap around me, my head was on Alucard's chest and he was stroking my hair. We stayed that way for a while until I was practically sedated his body against mine, his scent and his arms wrapped around me. I wrapped my arms around his neck.<br>"Thank you.", I whispered. He let go, so did I. However I didn't want to. His embrace was comfortable."Would you mind walking me to my room, I'd like to sleep." He smiled.  
>"You only need ask.". He asked me how I was doing, if I was feeling lonely and etc. as we were walking. I said that I was lonely and that I had too much time to think about the past, my regrets and mourn all the people I lost. We stood in front of my room.<br>"If you ever feel lonely you can always come to my chambers.", he winked as I opened the door.  
>"Good day." He said leaning against my door. I returned him with a smile.<br>"Good day to you too. Have a nice rest.", he gave me his Cheshire cat grin and left. I felt odd. I felt especially dizzy. Odd. I didn't care to take my clothes off and went to sleep.

I woke up, miserable. I'd had the most depressing of nightmares, in which I found Alucard brutally killed the way William was, and then saw a short obese man with glasses in a white suit playing with his heart. He said:  
>"My my. Someone has horribly rotten luck with men.". And with that I snapped into my primitive slash homicidal slash psychotic self ripping him into pieces.. When I was in my rage mode I lost every single emotion and notion in me, all but my craving for revenge, hate and anger, becoming the ultimate mass murderer. It was very rare for me and had only happened three times in 600 years.<p>

I had the I had a terrible headache, one of the ones I injected horse tranquilizer for, which meant a blackout for any human. I looked at myself in the mirror and found out that I looked worse than a piece of shit who was a junky with AIDS. That was how fucked up I looked, extremely pale, looking more like a ghost with anemia with dark circles around my eyes. I stripped in order to look at myself in the pier glass that I had asked Walter to install. I looked at my waifish figure. God I looked like a model of the heroin chic era as my pale skin merged with the circles around my eyes. I got dressed in a black pair of jeans, my favorite combat boots and an oversized charcoal jersey sweatshirt. I still looked like a corpse, but people had to deal with it, I didn't feel like making any extra effort. All I wanted to do was to get myself some horse tranquilizer, inject it to my system, take Ghost on a walk and have a target practice. As I was walking up to Sir Integra's office to ask for an hour long leave when I saw Walter coming my way.  
>"Good day Miss, you look, um… Different today.", he said eyeing me. I couldn't be mad at him for stating the obvious.<br>"No need for the courtesies Walter. I look like an anemic ghost with an eating disorder who is also a heroin addict with cancer." He chuckled.  
>"I was actually planning to pay you a visit and take you to the armory, do you already have a gun?", my headache was growing worse.<br>"I do, it is a .357 S&W Magnum, but Walter but can we do that an hour or so later? I have a terrible headache you see, and I normally use horse tranquilizer for it, but I left it back at my house so I need to ask for Sir Integra's permission to teleport home, get my medication and come back."  
>"We do have stables and medication for the horses there, you could always borrow enough for two horses let's say. And you wouldn't have to ask sir Integra for your leave."<br>"Thank you.", all I could give him was a half hearted smile, due to my head on its path to explode. We arrived at the stables soon enough. Walter showed me to the cabinet which held medication for the horses. I opened it up and injected myself with 1000 milligrams of horse tranquilizer, which did the trick and with that I was headache free in seconds. _"I must remember this place."_, I thought to myself, for I could need more medication in the future. Plus I just loved to ride. We walked to the armory. I was told that I would be using mine for a week until I got new ones, and gave me silver bullets.

It was around 4.30 as the sun started setting. I was just watching, relaxing with Ghost laying next to me. It was nice to relax from time to time, nothing from the crows, the president nor Sir Integra. Oh, bullocks the crows, the reunion. Fuck I forgot. I just teleported to the kennels leaving Ghost there and then teleported into Sir Integra's office. She commanded me in.  
>"Sir Integra, I have to ask you if you could give me a night off."<br>"A night off? When, why?"  
>"Well… I've got this reunion thingy with the order."<br>"Order?"  
>"Oh yeah. The Order of the Crow. Mage thing."<br>"Really?"  
>"It's an order of elder mages and their apprentices. So may I have a leave?"<br>"No. On one condition."  
>"Yes."<br>"Alucard will accompany you."  
>"Alucard? Why? I know he's fun and shit but I can't take him!"<br>"Oh really?"  
>"Really. He'll eat some of my friends and fuck the females, maybe even the males if he is bi-curious or bisexual! I can't take a big, bad, psychotic vamp with unclear sexual orientation to a party of magical folk. They taste and smell better than regular humans. Think about the apprentices. 50% of them are female virgins!"<br>"I won't let you go otherwise. You'll go with Alucard or won't go at all." _Fucking horsefucking__ wanker __whore. Why the fuck wouldn't she let me go on my fucking own?_ But I didn't have a chance. I had to bow my head. Otherwise I could lose my place as an elder.  
>"Fine." I moaned and left. Fuck. How the fuck am I going to keep the big guy from eating and raping every fucking mage at the party. And there he was, in front of me. How the fuck did he pop up?<br>"Well, you look horrible."  
>"Cheers mate(!)". He chuckled.<br>"So I heard we were going to a party tomorrow. What are going to wear?"  
>"Tosser."<br>"Don't worry I won't eat and fuck everyone. Unless you want me to. And by the way _I_ for once am perfectly heterosexual, unlike you miss bi-curious."  
>"You are such a cocky prick."<br>"That' not very nice. You swear too much. How did that make you an elder?"  
>"I have a very colourful vocabulary fuck you very much."<br>"Hahahahaha. You are funny."  
>"I know but you still are a cock."<br>"Very charming. Shall we. We have other abominations to kill. By the way I'm not that low. I don't rape people."  
>"Good. We have that in common. Where are we going tonight?"<br>"A hotel has been overrun by ghouls and some vampire trash."  
>"Punks. Have they kidnapped anyone?"<br>"No. Why?"  
>"Some like to have psychotic sex with their 'loot'. It's kind of like date rape, just without the drug. First they go to a bar, then they-", he didn't let me finish.<br>"How did you learn that?"  
>"I've been around for 600 bloody years. One learns."<br>"May we leave, O the Mighty One (!)"  
>"Very well."<br>Wow. We had an odd relationship. First he verbally harasses me , I harass him, then we start acting like friends. He was as bipolar as I was. The hotel wasn't really a hotel, it was a rather large bed & breakfast. We were standing in front of the building.  
>"Can't we just torch the bloody thing and leave for my house. I need to pick a gown for the event."<br>"Can't that sequined dress of yours work? Or any of the ones you packed into your huge luggage?"  
>"I left my gowns at home. It's a black tie event you know". A ghoul ran out of the house and in one second it was on the ground. Shot by Alucard.<br>"I just don't understand why you can't wear that bandage dress of yours with the great cleavage."  
>"We are going to a black tie event. And I will look appropriate. I need to keep my place as an elder. So we'll go to my house, I'll try on dresses and you'll choose. We have to look a couple."<br>"A couple? I thought you weren't interested in me like that."  
>"And I'm not. If Alexei learns you're available he <em>will<em> take you for body shots."  
>"The homosexual Russian, yes? By the way, aren't body shots erotic for men? Drinking from a woman and shit?"<br>"Yes, Alexei. And we are quite open minded about the whole homosexuality thing. Now let's get this shit done, shall we." We entered. The ghouls, who were feasting as we came, turned. Apparently they had guns. AK47s to be exact and started shooting. They were out of bullets. My turn.

Approximate amount of zombies: 50. Best way to kill: Set them aflame. The hostages.  
>"Alucard get the hostages out. Fast"<br>"Who told you, you could command me?". That cocky prick.  
>"Just do it will you!"<br>"Fine fine." And with that he walked upstairs. At least I smell better than him, they didn't bother to go after him.  
>"Hello tossers! You're mine now." Two dead fucks coming, rip the first one's head out. Torch the second one. Send him to his friends, setting them aflame too. 5 gone, 45 to go. Grab a gun, find ammo, load shoot. 15 others down, 25 left. And with that Alucard was out with hostages, killing the hosts. Wait. How the fuck didn't the zombies die? Fuck it I'm torching the place.<br>"So are You done?"  
>"Not yet."<br>And with that I did what I wanted to. Torch the place. The flames were fun to watch.  
>"Alucard what are we going to do with the survivors?"<br>"Take them to the estate. What else?"  
>"I'll teleport, wait for me."<br>"I don't wait for people."  
>"Oh, stop this macho act. I'm teleporting. Go study my friends."<br>Within seconds I was at the Hellsing manor. Walter. Where could he be? Sir Integra's room.  
>"You three follow me and don't you dare touch a thing!". They nodded, fast. Good, I scared them.<br>"Sir Integra, I brought the witnesses."  
>"Fine , you can leave."<br>"As you wish."  
>"Wait, where's Alucard?"<br>"I'm borrowing him for these two nights.", I flashed a smirk and teleported.  
>"Hello, I'm back!"<br>"Did you actually fuck every single member from the Order of the Crow?"  
>"Nice to see you too. And no, I did not fuck everyone. For example I didn't sleep with Benoit, the French guy."<br>"Oh yes he seems to be the only one left out."  
>"Come on, your score is probably higher than mine."<br>"Maybe. Would you like to be a part of it?"  
>"You're gross."<br>"Let's leave for your house. I'm getting hungry."  
>"Give me your hand."<br>"What?"  
>"We'll teleport. Come on."<br>"Fine."  
>"Nice being back home." I noticed Alucard playing with the antiques.<br>"Would you mind following me to the basement?"  
>"I would, but I don't have a choice, do I?"<br>"You don't." I stripped, only leaving my panties on. So number one on the list was a crystal embellished silk-chiffon gown in aqua from Marchesa.  
>"So how do you like it?", next off was the Roland Mouret dress, in geranium red with fishtail skirt.<br>"Zip me up will you?"  
>"It's funny. Normally I'd be ripping this dress with my teeth."<br>"How charming. So how do I look?"  
>"Too vibrant for my taste."<br>"Fine. Let me see. What about…This?", I asked him holding a black crepe gown by Antonio Berrardi over my half naked body. It had a bodice in tan, embellished with crystals.  
>"The zipper."<br>"Darker colours suit you better."  
>"Thanks, so how do you like it?"<br>"If I hadn't seen you what's under it I'd say sublime, but now I'll have to lower it to a 'magnificent'."  
>"And I'll lower your grade to extremely dirty and horny."<br>"Not horny, just dirty."  
>"Very well. The zipper." As we were leaving:<br>"Alucard, can I take you out for a bite?"  
>"No need, I hunt on my own."<br>"Oh we're not going for hunt, we're going to a club."  
>"A club?"<br>"Yes. Club Dead, look it up from my memories. I'm friends with the manager, free drinks."  
>"And for my hunger?"<br>"You are witty enough to make a dirty comment on practically anything, but you can't presume what is served in the club 'dead'? It's a god damn vampire bar _Knockturn Alley*_, the club is a local hangout higher quality vampires than you usually hunt. Shall we prince?"  
>"Fuck you, you whiny bitch!", I took his arm and teleported before he could object.<br>"What the fuck do you think you were doing?"  
>"You'll thank me later, by the way you can fuck the donor if you'd like to," after a few seconds we'd arrived at the club. "And we're here. Hello Bob, how're the girls, by the way let me introduce you to my friend Vlad. Vlad this is Bob, he's been the bouncer for the last 80 years, and Bob this is my friend Vlad the old as hell vampire."<br>"Nice to meet you Vlad." Alucard was dumb struck. He probably did not think a vampire wouldn't be, well couldn't be, this friendly. I was digging his brain as he was digging Bob's. He wouldn't find a thing that lowered his character.  
>"For once, I can say the same.", they shook hands and we entered.<p>

*Knockturn Alley: Potter fans will know. I must confess that I got a bit lazy and borrowed from Jo. I don't think she'll mind. And I made it a hangout for vampires.

A.N.: I tried to make Bellona sound a bit more English. Sorry for taking so long, I was in Switzerland with my family. And FYI I'm changing to a third person narrator, this I too boring, always "I, I, I", . And tell me if Alucard's going OOC. Thanks for reading and please leave a comment. 


	4. Chapter 4: Club Dead

Club Dead  
>They entered the club. It was bigger in the inside, apparently the expansion charm had been used. The club had been her hangout since its first night of business, but for Alucard the experience was different. He had expected a loud club, with crappy ear fucking so called music, which the new generation had taken the liberty of calling 'techno', and mindless fangirls screaming. Instead he walked into a posh club, tastefully decorated with baroque inspired furniture. The cello and the piano were playing by themselves a fast paced jazz piece, like they were enchanted.<br>"What type of blood do you like?"  
>"0 negative, why?"<br>"I'm ordering you a virgin. Any specific preferences, a specific choice of race, hair colour, or body type?"  
>"Whatever you're taking."<br>"I'm taking a 40 year old bourbon. Well don't worry I'll choose for you, she's on me." , she was oddly cheeky here, it was easy to comprehend she felt better here even though her looks still reminded him of a corpse. He liked her better when she was vibrant like she was today, only because when she was unhappy she swore enough to make a sailor blush. It was odd, her colour going from very pale to corpse like in just a night. He sat in a booth. She came back with a glass of whiskey in her hand.  
>"So, I ordered you a blond Caucasian virgin, with blond hair and green eyes, I was told that she was thin and had great tits and I paid for sex too, so do it. I wouldn't like ten thousand pounds to go to waste. And that's the price with a family discount of another ten thousand pounds.", she spoke faster than usual, as if she was in a hurry.<br>"What are you going to do?"  
>"I'm going to see the manager, he's an old friend of mine. You would like him and here is the key to your room, I got you a suite. It's room 506. It's very nice, speaking from experience.", she winked and led him to the lift.<br>"Not the lift."  
>"Why, have you got claustrophobia?"<br>"No, I just hate the music."  
>"There's no such thing in this one. Plus I hate it too."<br>"I know."  
>"Floor five." She commanded and the lift immediately took action. Alucard looked around curiously.<br>"Magic, that's all. It's too slow." They arrived after a few seconds.  
>"I trust you'll find your way. Have a nice dinner and do not drain her. If she's dead or if she turns into any kind of abomination I'll have to pay 20,000 pounds extra. And meet me downstairs at three." The doors closed she commanded the lift. "Penthouse.". She walked towards the room she was much too familiar with. As she was about to knock when a tall red headed vampire in a sharp black suit opened the door. He gave her a tight hug, tight enough to break her ribs and puncture her lung. She sat on one of the couches rolled her top up, tore her skin above her ribs and started talking as she was replacing her ribs:<br>"So Andrew how have you been holding up? And what about Al, how is he?". The room had been redecorated since she came. The old Victorian/baroque decor had left its place to a rather rustic image which reminded her of Tuscany.  
>"Things are going pretty good for this establishment. I've earned more than any magical hotelclub/bar/pub owner in England. Of course the Irish are in much better shape than the English. And we've just celebrated our 250th year with the club and 245th anniversary with Alastair." Answered the man with a Scottish accent.  
>"I'm very happy for you. One question: Do you guys still have a sex life?"<br>"It will most probably surprise you but, yes we do have a sex life. Try and think of you and William. That's the easiest way to explain it. We've known each other a long time and we enjoy each other's company, so we don't need much sex. But what is the reason you actually caused your visit. It definitely isn't to say hi and it definitely not just for that vampire that came with you, you can see that he is very powerful from the dark energy that radiates around him. I sensed you two as soon as you were insi-" his words were cut by a girls panting. Loud panting. Actually very loud panting. He was amazed:  
>"Holy crap, I've never seen anyone pant like <em>that<em> in my 467 years and 8 months."  
>"Oh god, I haven't had good sex in a hundred years and sex that good since Will was murdered." She said with a hysterically sad voice. Her face turned serious. "Back to your question. I need drugs, a lot. Heroin, cocaine, acid, marijuana, any kind of crystals and some Viagra, I want to watch people get the weirdest erections ever, and this year I've added Viagra brownies to my menu along with hashish cupcakes. So, I need enough to supply at least 150 people."<br>"Is it the reunion again? You people dry my stocks. And you know it is going to cost you a lot."  
>"I'm willing to pay. Seriously, doesn't that motherfucking panting annoy you!"<br>"No it doesn't, it's nice to hear that a client is having a jolly good time. Now let's leave." They made their way to the lift.  
>"Storage room."<br>"Verification needed. What is Andrew James Morrison's favorite beast?" Asked a monotonous voice.  
>"A siren" Andrew answered and the lift immediately worked.<br>"I didn't know that."  
>"I like them, they're nice too watch and they have amazing musical abilities." A line of images appeared in Bellona's mind. They were of Alucard fucking the young blond girl she ordered him. They weren't very pleasant to her, since she found pornography and the likes of it tasteless and cheap. She didn't mind participating in threesomes, or any sexual act, but she wasn't fond of pornography. They had finally arrived at the basement where Andrew's stash was. He led her inside and he started gathering a variety of drugs. He put them all in a big bag and handed them to her.<br>"That's 10 ounces of hashish, a hundred ounces of marijuana, fifty ounces of pure cocaine, a hundred Viagra and a 150 LSD pills. It should cost around a good eight thousand pounds but since you're family it's sixty five hundred. And a packet of Davidoff cigarettes is on the house."  
>"Thanks.", she searched for something in her pocket and eventually took out a checkbook and a pen and started writing.<br>"Here thanks again.", they walked to the elevator stopping at the lobby. She ordered herself a screwdriver and started waiting for her friend. That brought a question to her mind. What was their relationship status? Were they friends, co-workers or mere company? She had been wondering this, trying to find an answer, when Alucard walked down the stairs buttoning up his shirt.  
>"I got your message. Pornography is not something I'm interested in."<br>"I know but I thought you might like it." , he was too close to her face. He smelled of Târgoviște, only a city of past mourning for her, a place of too much death, pain and loss. She felt him trying to penetrate her mind. She wouldn't let him do that now. He gave her a toothy grin, showing his dagger-like teeth.  
>"Please move.", oddly he obeyed, but that grin was spread all around his face. They were walking next to each other, Alucard thinking of the new people he'd meet. It was bound to be fun. But Bellona, on the other hand was, in mixed emotions to be exact, not knowing what she exactly felt, one thing she was sure of that she was somehow saddened by the thought of Târgoviște, and what had happened three hindered years ago. All that tragedy was hard to handle. He put his arm around her, coming between her and the disturbing thoughts of loss.<br>"Teleport us will you partner."

In shorter amount of time than one blink the surroundings had changed and now they were before Sir Integra's study, about to give a full report. Alucard took off his sunglasses and walked through the door without hesitating. After a few seconds he stuck his head out through the door.  
>"Come in, we're about to be scolded. It's going to be fun.",<em> I don't have a choice do I?<em>, she thought to herself and went in. She saw Alucard standing next to the door, smirking. It was evident that Sir Integra was enraged, since her face betrayed her wish to look calm.  
>"How dare you stay out so late? We had an emergency and we couldn't even reach your phone, Alucard! We had three men turn into ghouls and then be killed by Walter while facing fifty or more ghouls. And Walter broke his arm. It all happened because you two were too irresponsible to actually come back in an appropriate hour after you finished your task!", she said this without breathing and now her face had turned slightly red and she was throwing death-glares to both of them.<br>"Master, don't anger yourself. If you continue like this you will become a giant wrinkle yourself by the age of thirty.", Alucard said calmly, as if he was used to being scolded like this.  
>"Don't you dare think you can act like that you monster! Behave yourself and hold your tongue, otherwise I swear to you I will sprinkle you with garlic and roast you in the sun!", Bellona couldn't help but chuckle. She saw this kind of hilarity once or twice a year, in Crow reunions where nearly all wizards were either high or drunk.<br>"Is it funny what we're doing? Do you think that Walter broke his arm and three men died as you two were away is funny? Well do you Miss Aurelius?", Alucard knew the end of this argument would definitely unpleasant the second he saw a tiny flash of anger on her partners face. He immediately picked her up, like a sack over his shoulder.  
>"Integra, don't argue with her for a while, will you? Otherwise she'll try to kill you, I'll get angry and the two of us, immortal as we are, will start a very long fight. So try to make peace with her.", they left immediately, Bellona still over Alucard's shoulder, like a sack. She kept yelling and ordering for him to put her down. The second they arrived in her room he intentionally dropped her down on the floor.<br>"Thank you Alucard. And sorry for getting you into trouble."  
>"Don't worry about Integra scolding me, she does it all the time. But why thank me?"<br>"Because I would have killed her and then hated myself for it." She said with a sad smile. He crouched and held her chin.  
>"I'm going to go speak with Integra, you should sleep and stop worrying about being in a blood rage. You're my friend and I take care of my friends. Now sleep." She got into her bed as Alucard left without changing and fell asleep in just a few minutes.<p>

Alucard entered Integra's cambers.  
>"Will you just stop picking a fight with her?"<br>"What did you just say monster?"  
>"You two need to stop fighting or you'll end up dead, she'll end up even more depressed and unstable and I'll end up trying to kill my friend in order to avenge you."<br>"Your 'friend'? I thought you were a heartless creature."  
>"I am. But I like talking to people of my own kind, especially to her so what else can you call her?"<br>"I thought she was a nymph."  
>"Someone that went through the same things as I have. OK? And I'm not going to discuss this anymore." With saying that he left. Yes, she could be considered a friend, could she not?<p> 


	5. A Party, Busted

**A Party Busted by Psychopaths**

People yelling things such as:

"Whee!", "I'm a hippogriff!", "Fire truck coming in!", people shagging all over the place, regardless the gender, crying, throwing up, yelling, running around dancing, attempting to smoke joints with plants, overdosing Those were things Bellona Aurelius had gotten used to over the years But Alucard was new to the environment, and it was apparent that it made him uneasy, which was described by Bellona as "a sight to see", after all how often would anyone be able to see the master vampire this, well, submissive

The headquarters of the order was in suburban France, near Switzerland It was called Le Chateau Sanglante by most of the magical community, but the original name of the manor was Le Château Rouge It was inhabited by the Crows, made invisible to the non magic affiliated, therefore creating a safe-house for any magical being from a mortal's war It was a dark and rich shade of red, like the colour of wine, with exquisite craftsmanship in its every detail*

A crystal vase came hurtling towards Alucard's head, and he ducked, only to hear the vase shatter into tiny pieces on the wall

"Fucking hell!"

"Ha ha you missed!" screamed the man named Ekkehard to a man next to him called Benoit

"He ducked It's not my fault!" _How the fuck does Bellona handle these people. But again, she does have a liking for a mess _ He looked at her, chatting with one of the 5 conscious things around, an alive skeleton in a striped suit named Aodh She was, he had to admit, the single most beautiful being he had ever seen Even with her silvery-blonde hair, which he wasn't very fond of, she had caught his eye Her face was beautiful beyond words, with her big almond shaped blue eyes, perfectly red lips Her body only made the whole sight of hers complete, with a height of 6'2'', and really long legs But after all, him bringing her to the mansion was fully instinctive He felt, in a way that this woman could easily be swept away into a downwards spiral of depression and wanted to protect her of a reason he did not know why With another glimpse he saw that she had gone outside

"You two aren't togezer are you?", it was the ghost of the Crow Headquarters, Adélaïde Coralie de Villars, a former resident of the place, speaking with a horribly French accented English

"How did you know?"

"I see zrough everyzing and everyone But the zing is you do fancy her, don't you?"

"Fancy? No, not really, but fond of yes", and where the fuck was Bellona right now?

"Say whazever you will By ze way she's out for a smoke, wiz Wulfric"

"So are they involved?"

"Once, wasn't a long lasting romance"

"How did they break up?"

"It was ugly Zat's all I can say. It's her choice to tell you ze rest"

**Meanwhile**

"Andersoon! Where are Yumie and Heinkel?"

"Their a few meters behind ser. Personnelly I think they've been drinking too much. So much that Yumie is about to have intercourse with her katana and Heinkel started to sing Spice Gals."

"Well fuck. As if they weren't the ones that caused our late departure from the café. If they hadn't insisted on eating that wretched crème brulée we wouldn't have missed our train, wouldn't have had to take the ferry to cross the Lake Geneva, and hitchhike until we came to this fucking middle of nowhere!", his eye started to twitch, Anderson couldn't restrain himself therefore bursting into laughter

"Don't you dare start laughing!"

" If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends  
>Make it last forever, friendship never ends<br>If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give  
>Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is" Heinkel sang as she came skipping. Both Anderson and Maxwell were completely horrified by the whole scene. Heinkel's singing was horrible and Yumie was clutching her sword, petting it as she walked and saying "My precioussssss." Over and over again.<p>

"Maxvell, sir, ve shouldn't have let her read those damned books. Lord of the Rings, vhat bollocks, the Lord is one and only and has nothing to do vith rings."

"That's not the point of the books damn it! Whatever just have those two shut up we'll have to camp."

"I think I saw something ser. A light."

**Outside the Crow HQ**

Bellona clicked her fingers creating a tiny flame and lighting her cigarette.

"Why did you ask talk to me Wulf?"

"You're not together with that vampire are you?"

"I am and my relationship is none of your business Wulf."

"Oh but it is. I think you're faking the whole relationship, just to outrage me."

"And why exactly would my relationship be any of your business?" There was a long silence, after which

"Will you give me another chance?"

"You know you cheated on me"

"Yes and I regret it"

"I'll think about it" Yes it would be a great way to get even if Alucard agreed to shag once or twice and snog a few times

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Someone was speaking"

"No I didn't"

"'ello there miss, I hope we're not interrupting"

"Ah, not at all actually, but whom may I ask I'm speaking to?" Hmm clergymen, but where from?

"I am Enrico Maxwell and these are my , um, subordinates; Father Alexander Anderson, the one singing is Heinkel Wolfe, and the nun over there is Yumiko Takagi, we're clergymen", said the silver haired man _Adela close the curtains and make the place visible, now! We have company,_ Bellona's voice echoed inside the headquarters

"Oh, is this your house? I didn't see it a few seconds ago?"

"Ah, well, it's dark out here and the curtains are all closed, it's pretty normal if you ask me We were having a party actually, but please do come in",

"_Alucard I have two sober, two drunk clergy-people coming in, be nice, will you? Even if you do I want bloodstains on the carpet and walls"_

"_Haha, deal"_

Bellona opened the heavy doors, revealing the main hall of the wasted château, no one spoke except for the drunks Yumie and Heinkel until they arrived at the ballroom A woman in a black sequined dress was lying on the ceiling, rolling a joint, defying all rules of gravity, Alucard talking to the ghost, a few people snogging, some crying, some stripping, some doing more drugs, Aodh and Gaia the hobgoblin, having a pretty serious conversation about the hunting trip to a parallel universe of last year and how they had managed to kill a Lamia and what they were going to do this year

"Oh if it isn't the Vatican, I don't see a little boy glued to your crotch, I must confess, you Catholics have made progress"

"Hmm, is it just me or do we have ourselves a heathen over here?"

"Excuse you, but I' a fuck mothering awesome ass vampire and I killed a lot to earn this fucking title, priest"

**Thump!**

"And who was that?"

"My boss, Enrico Maxwell" They both looked at Maxwell lying on the floor, partly conscious with a syringe sticking out of his neck, next to the red headed Russian with the huge joint

"Spasiba Yesfir"

"Ya sudovol stiem, shef"

"I'm becoming impatient priest"

"For once I can agree heathen" Alucard gave a roar, Anderson took out a pair of bayonets and jammed one of them into Alucard's right collarbone and the other one into his upper abdomen near his spleen

"Teper ya revnuyu shef" Yesfir said, keeping calm

"Ya tozhe" meanwhile Alucard had blown Anderson's head off, which had started growing back up, Maxwell was sleeping like a baby, Yumie was snogging the ginger Ekkehard, the ghost of the headquarters was treating Heinkel since she had overdosed on a drug cocktail, which had included MDM's, heroin, hash, cocaine and marijuana

"This wasn't at all what I had expected"

"Then I'd really hate to disappoint you monster" Said Anderson as he came up behind Alucard and cut off his head The room was silent until Bellona's laugh surrounded it, she wiped a tear off her eye

"Why are you all so serious?"

"sir, That priest just cut your boyfriends head off"

"So? It'll grow back"

"Wasn't he supposed to be a vampire?"

"Trust me he'll become what he was in a few minutes"

With that Alucard's deranged laugh was all over the room His shadows surrounded the whole room Once able and dignified witches and wizards, who wouldn't have blinked while this was happening, were screaming, rolling on the ground, acting like scared little kids, all except Bellona, Gaia, Aodh and Wulfric The latter two were too amazed to move, but Bellona was leaning on the table with a wide smirk on her face, and Gaia, well she herself was the meaning of abnormal, being a hobgoblin and all

"Is that all you've got priest?"

As for Anderson he had gotten agitated He threw bayonets at Alucard, Alucard turning back and forth between his solid humanoid form and a mass of shadows He shot Anderson in the head, which just didn't do it, then swarmed into shadows and shot him in the back, which caused him to collapse, but after a few seconds that turned out to be no good Then an idea popped in his head As he was about to materialize his hand from the shadows to shoot the clergyman in the heart something else sent him on the floor writhing in pain, with which he materialized back to his humanoid form

"Who shot my prey?"

"I can't let you kill anyone from the Vatican Alucard I already have problems with the king of the Pedos and a dead priest definitely won't help", Bellona spoke with a three barreled pocket pistol in her hand

"But you shot him"

"In the crotch and you have noticed that he will heal The only way to kill a regenerator like him would be to pierce his heart, much like a vampire And that idea had just popped into your head" Alucard arched an eyebrow

"So what are your plans?"

"The manly nun has OD'd, the Japanese one will soon have a blackout, Yesfir handled their head, all we have to do is erase the big one's memories"

"Sounds legit, may I?", Bellona gave him a really wide smile,

"He's all yours"

Alucard propped Anderson up in one of the very few un-shattered chairs, making direct eye contact

"You are a super model and you're fabulous You are in a relationship with a Japanese schoolboy named Daichi Takahashi and he is _the_ love of your life, therefore you will jump on a plane, go to Osaka, kidnap him and go back to wherever you live right now, and, yeah, you will remember nothing of this night," he broke eye contact and turned to Bellona, who was simply grinning absentmindedly "And this is how it's done"

"Brilliant Now, Gaia, would you mind teleporting to our drop off spot with these lovely people if the black haired nun has blacked ou-", she was hit on the back of her head with an armchair

"Who the fuck threw that? I'm going to find you and you'll have to strategically put your beautiful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly in order to get any kind of addictive Fuck, so anyways"

"Yep, she's out chief See you later!" and with that the hobgoblin disappeared into thin air After which a few people who were conscious, or at least conscious enough to teleport, left, including the mmain characters of our story, leaving the ghost to look after everyone left out, high, dancing to no music, drunk, blacked out, slurring or vomiting

"We really are horrible beings" Bellona said to Alucard whilst they were going out the front door of the Crow headquarters

"No shit Sherlock" he said to her, making her laugh, hysterically

"Come on, we have to leave It's nearly dawn you know"

"And Integra will be breathing fire if we don't come back before the dawn"

"By the way, why is she not called 'Dame' Integra?"

"I guess it's just the writers fault", she laughed shortly, grabbed Alucard's arm and teleported back to another HQ, of another weird ass organization

AN Sorry people about the dots My computer's gone psychotic, therefore some keys just don't work And if you want to know how I imagined it Google Château de Maisons and imagine it a wine red.


	6. Chapter 6

Sounds of explosions and gunshots came from a long deserted theatre in suburban York The police had tried handling the case, but had to call for the Hellsing organization, when all their units were turned into blood thirsty rotten corpses

A ghoul exploded in front of Bellona, the explosion caused by her She jumped on top a ghoul, ripped his heart out, punched the next ones forehead, her hand breaking his skull, going through his brain and going out on the other side One of them came running towards her as she was turning around, she kicked it's chin, breaking its neck She clenched her fist, and instantly all the ghouls shriveled, the pressure she was building up in their bodies causing a considerable amount of eyes to burst out of their sockets and when she opened her hands they blew up

"Hey, Alucard; what's your body count at?"

"Headshot bitches! I'm at 458," a gunshot came "And now it's 459,"another gunshot, "You?"

"506 I cleared the floor," she said walking, "Trying to find the host This is rather lovely is it not?"

"Yeah I haven't seen an epidemic as big for a year"

"Well hello, shit for brains"

"I see that you've found the host" she looked at the vampire she had cornered It lunged at her She ducked his attack, kicked his face, jumped over him, just to make a perfectly graceful landing on his chest

"Yep, I've got Mr. Dickhead right over here, are you done?"

"Not yet," two gunshots came from one story above, "Now I'm done" , the vampire caught a glimpse of shadows turning into a handsome, tall man, yet he looked as if he had stepped out of his worst nightmare, AKA Alucard

"Wanna kill him, or shall I?"

"Let the man choose Bellona" she grinned, predicting easily how the conversation would end

"I, I choose the woman" Bellona raised an eyebrow, the left side of her mouth curling, Alucard chuckled to himself

"Damn, you're deep shit, dog She's crueler than I am"

"Oh don't scare the man Alucard Now let's get to it shall we?", she stepped down, off the vampires chest And as soon as she got off him, he started running for his non-existent life Bellona gave him an advantage of ten seconds after running behind him He ran upstairs, only to be caught at a corner by Bellona

"You know what, I'm giving you a second chance Mr Wanker , run" she whispered into his ear, with a sadistic smile on her face and let the befuddled vampire run Bellona turned into something what looked Alucard in his shadow form, only she had turned red, blood red He ran into a room, locking himself in Just then Bellona took her human form

"Let me in, let me in little piggy or I'll huff, and I'll puff and I'll blow your house e down ", she waited only a second, for the vampire who had already started crying for mercy, to answer When she didn't get an answer she backed away three steps, inhaled as much air as possible and puffed it out just like the wolf in the story, breaking the door and heavily injuring the vampire

"Mercy! Mercy! Please don't kill me! I don't want to die! Parlay, parlay! I'll do anything, I'll leave the country and never co-"

"Silence!" she commanded, interrupting his futile cries "Cowards like you disgrace the word vampire! And fucking hell, I'm not even a vampire and I'm irritated by the likes of you You have no right to ask mercy from anyone I never accept such pathetic cries of mercy, I'm sworn to show no mercy to the weak, and you definitely are not an exception", she then took the revolver, hidden inside her jacket, calmly loaded it, while she was pressuring the rogue vampire's head with the heel of her boot

"Thank for flying with No Turning Back Airlines, we hope you had a torturous flight and hope you never come back Have nice day" She gave him a wide grin and shot him in the head

"I don't know if I should be proud of such a colleague, or be offended that you never used those tricks on me"

"I'm glad you liked the show Alucard" she said lighting a cigarette

"You did not answer my question"

"That was no question, it was merely a statement, therefore it cannot be answered" Alucard smiled

"Beam us up Scotty" Bellona laughed

"Shall we?" she asked holding out her hand

"We shall" they teleported

"Report Alucard" Sir Integra commanded

"We went in, the vampire shat himself, if that's even possible, killed everything no survivors, blah blah blah"

"Well, then leave me alone with my paperwork And Bellona here's your first paycheck" Bellona lifted a brow

"I did not know I got paychecks"

"Well you do, take it and leave" Sir Integra handed her the envelope Bellona smiled at Alucard

"My first ever paycheck" she announced

"Really? First eve-" he was interrupted by Integra, shoving both of them out the door She locked it, turned around and sat before her paperwork

"Ah sweet Jesus Is there a sensation any better than freshly printed paperwork?"

Outside the Study

"Well that's a workaholic"

"Try living with her for nine years"

"So nine years good for you", she said taking out a pack of cigarettes from her back pocket, lighting one taking a big breath

"That smells shit"

"I know it smells shit, you're not the only one with super senses, but you do get hooked after a while"

"I've thought about your offer"

"I'm listening"

"My final answer is yes"

"Thank you"

"But I do have a question, why?"

"I am guessing you already know of my relationship with Wulfric"

"Generally yes"

"I plan to drive him out of the order"

"Oh really, why?"

"I suspect that he is a snitch"

"So, just kill the bastard"

"It's more serious than that If I kill him and he turns out to be government, the order would have to massacre everyone in the government, and have a coup d'état, which would mean more massacre But if he turns out not to be one, well, I'll lose an asset, a big furry one, so if I find out that he is government, well that's where you come in"

"So you hope for him to feel so depressed when he learns that you've been cheating on him with a superior being, he'll drive himself out of the order"

"Or commit suicide, that works as well But bottom line yes, I want him out of the order by his own will If he leaves and keeps on living the Governor will, well let's say that he'll deal with the furry bastard"

"That plan is based on assumptions, it doesn't have to work"

"It is but it will work" she stood in front of her door

"Good day Bellona"

"Good day Alucard", then there was the awkward silence

"Well this is uncomfortable"

"Definitely" she reached for the door knob, opened the door and stepped inside

"Well have a nice rest Alucard"

"You too" then she did the only thing she could think of, she shut he door to his face

_Well that was awkward_, she thought to herself while taking off her clothes and stepping inside the hot shower

The water relaxed her, oddly enough she was tired That was something worth consideration when you were living in her world The truth was all this plotting mixed with the new vampire hunting business was in fact tiring her She was planning her next move on the matter of Wulfric, planning the Order's moves, doing paperwork, trying to recruit and hunting vampires for Hellsing After stepping out of the shower she created a silver crow and tied her first paycheck to its leg, wrote a note telling the PI to be ready around sundown, and sent it off to her head investigator as allowance _Well let's hope that Lena has something, for all our sake_


End file.
